Sorting Through These Messy Feelings
by Avionyx
Summary: Collection of Skyffery stories dealing with the feelings revealed in TPIS (SPOILERS). All of these take place on the same timeline as well as the same timeline as Staying In For The Weekend. Some are straight out of the book, some are my own creation. Rating subject to change!
1. Chapter 1

***Disclaimer***

**Most of the dialogue for the chapter come directly from TPIS and was not written by me**

* * *

It had better be just aesthetically, because you promised no romance. You've been fine up until now. Don't blow it." They're sitting on the dark staircase. Skye is studying the calculator watch, which is already strapped to her wrist.

"I know I promised, and I'm sticking to it." He's lying, the only reason he knew that the color of the watch would match her eyes is that is the color he sees whenever he closes his eyes, even if only for a moment. He stares down at his thumbs waiting for her to say something, desperate for her to fill with something. A feeling comes over him, almost like he's about to vomit. "It's just that it's hard for me to be with you and not want-" What is he doing, she hates this kind of stuff, and he knows she doesn't want to hear it. Against his better judgment, he continues. "You're so beautiful, you know." Even now, when she's glaring at him, she captivates him, her hair messily sticking up in awkward places. She tenses, like she's preparing for a fight.

"No, no, no, Jeffery, no." She shakes her head, and throws her hands up.

"And there's no one else? You're certain?" He looks down; ashamed of the question he's asked.

"You just promised-" She says crossly, her temper already shortening.

"I know, but-"

"I hate this. It's like my best friend has been taken over by an alien." Skye's voice catches and she stands. Turning away to hide her face, she takes a huge, shuddery breath. "You have to go back to Boston now. I don't want you here anymore." Her words cut through him like a knife; he can't believe what he's hearing. His best friend, the girl he's in love with, turning him away from her, from her family, from the only family he's really ever had.

"If I have to leave, I will…" He trails off, wanting her to contradict him.

"Not forever just until you calm down." She begins to walk away, her arms crossed in front of her. He sighs.

"What if I don't ever calm down?" She pauses, and he can see her shoulders get even tenser. "Okay," he lowers his voice. "Forget I said that, and I will leave tonight if you need me too. But smile for me first, Skye, so I know that you'll forgive me someday." He walks around her, instead of a smile; she bites her bottom lip and stares at him, brow furrowed. He takes half a step back. "No? I really can be your best friend and love you, too, you know." He says sounding more heartbroken than she's ever heard him.

"No, I don't know. Obviously you can't." She snaps, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. He reaches out to wipe them, but she steps back. Her message is clear, 'Don't touch me.' He knows he should stop, but there's still one huge question weighing him down.

"Do you ever think about falling in love? I mean, not with me necessarily, but anyone." He says anyone, but he doesn't really mean it. He tries to imagine her with someone else, another scientist with whom she can sit up all night and she won't have to point out every constellation. He tries to imagine her kissing someone else, marrying him, she'd come over and he'd have to pretend he doesn't love her anymore, when he's sure he still will. He has no doubts that he will love her forever. He can't even fathom feeling this way about someone else.

Skye groans. "No, I don't. Not yet. Not now." She raises her hands to her head in frustration, and he studies his feet.

"Ever?" He looks up at her, in what he hopes is a 'puppy dog' look.

"Jeffery, my best friend wouldn't be torturing me like this." This hurts the most, guilt runs over him like a wave you don't see coming at the beach. It tackles him, and when he tries to escape for air, he just keeps getting knocked under. "How many different ways do I have to explain that to you that I don't want to talk about this?"

"I just want to understand." He murmurs.

"You want to understand? You really want that?" Skye's voice is gradually getting higher in pitch, he knows what's coming. It happens every time she begins to lose her temper. Her fists clench, and her eyes darken, she presses the fists to her forehead. "Then listen to me. This is what happens when people fall in love. They get married, right? And they're really happy and they have great jobs, and they have babies and they're still happy and they love the children," He's confused, I mean Skye's never been crazy about kids, but he knew that and it never bothered him. She continues. "And then with no warning- out of absolutely nowhere- the mother's suddenly going to have another baby even though she already has three perfectly good daughters. And that would be bearable except that it turns out she also has cancer…" Tears are flowing down her face. Jeffery reaches out for her hand, she tries to pull away but he takes it anyway. It's shaking. He shouldn't have pushed her this far. He knows how distraught this topic makes her.

"Skye," His voice is so soft; it's only slightly above a whisper. "You don't need to say all this. I'm so sorry. I'll just go now." He pulls away, but she keeps holding onto his hand. Surprised, he turns back around.

"But if you want to understand, I do need to say all this." She takes a deep breath and continues, keeping a tight grip on Jeffery's hand. "The mother has cancer and she's pregnant and because treating the cancer could hurt the baby, she has to make a decision. And she never asks her daughters what they think- or ever her husband for, all I know- and she decides to protect the baby and let the cancer kill her. So she dies. She _died_. And in exchange-"

He's shocked. He grabs her other hand too. "Don't say it Skye, please I know you don't mean it." She meets his gaze defiantly, her eyes red from crying.

"Why wouldn't I mean it? It's true. In exchange for our dead mother, we got another sister, just what we didn't need. We got Batty." As soon as the words leave her mouth he can tell she regrets them. Guilt flashes across her face.

"You don't really mean that do you?"

"Yes, no, I don't know. I mean…"

"It's complicated?" She nods, and hugs him, burying her face into his sweatshirt. He hugs her back. They don't move. She mutters something into his sweatshirt.

"What was that?" She pulls away, and looks down at their conjoined hands, confused like she's not sure what they mean. Neither does he, but he can ignore all that.

"I know how…how I _want_ to feel, but I'm afraid? Don't try to tell me you know everything is going to be okay, because you don't know, you can't know. I just…I'm just confused, and having you here is only making things worse. I need time, Jeffery, time and space." Solemnly he nods.

"You don't need to tell me that relationships are hard, mother has pounded that message into my head time and time again. Even Alec can't keep a girlfriend for more than half a year, they take work, but I'm willing to put all that work in with you, Skye." When she still looks uncomfortable he adds. "I'll leave to go back to Boston, tonight, if that's what you need."

"Thank you." She wipes her running nose on her shirt.

"No problem, just, even if you don't have…" He thinks even saying the word 'feelings' is a risky move. "uh…a fondness… towards me, I still hope that we can still be best friends." She looks him in the eye again, and smiles.

"Only if you promise to respect my choice, no matter what it is." He smiles back with his crooked smile that she secretly adores.

"Promise." He holds out his hand for a handshake. She takes it.

"Promise."

* * *

**Author's Note **

Takes place on the same timeline as Staying In For The Weekend.

I re-read this scene and realized that we only hear the dialogue, and we don't get to see what they're actually doing and that it cuts off. And as you all probably know, there are a few...mistakes...with TPIS. *cough*Skyffery*cough* I might as well fix them. There will probably be a few more chapters on this theme.

I love reviews and am always open to PM! Feel free to chat!

Happy Reading, Avionyx :)


	2. Chapter 2

Jeffrey looked down at his caller ID. Seeing it was Skye, he couldn't answer fast enough. "Hello!" It took all of his self control not to yell into the phone. In the background, he could hear the noise of a party. "Skye are you at a party? You actually left your house!"

"Jeffrey, shut up this is serious, I need you to come get me." She says in a worried, rushed, whisper. "I know you're in Cameron to see Batty. All of these people are drunk, and this guy keeps touching me. I had to duck into a bathroom to make this call. Please, Jeffrey, I need you." He's taken aback, but is already reaching for his keys and his jacket.

"I'm on my way, just wait right there. I'll text you as soon as I'm there." While she relays the address, he awkwardly opening the car door and starting the engine. He drives, wildly, through the dark streets. Normally, he had music blasting through the speakers, but his car was silent. The house is lit from top to bottom with the way too loud bass blasting through the windows. He pulls out his phone and tells Skye that he's outside.

A minute later, he hears her voice yelling at someone to let go of her. Without thinking, he leaps out of the car and runs of to the porch. For second, he is distracted by Skye, her hair is messily put up in a small ponytail, and even in just a plain coat and jeans she captivates him. The hand on his arm, infuriates him. The hand belongs to a big brute, the kind that wears tank tops and backwards hats with their pants practically down to their knees. "Let go of her." Skye glares at him, silently telling him that she can handle it.

"WHy?" His words are slurred. "ShE LikEs iT." He sees the look in Skye's eyes change to fury. She stomps hard on his foot, and when the grip on her arm loosens, she turns and punches him in the nose. Jeffrey laughs.

"You little-" She starts, through gritted teeth He gently places a hand on her shoulder.

"All right, let's go." She turns around and grins.

"One more kick?" He laughs and nods. Her smile grows and she kicks the man in the crotch. He doubles over in pain, and together, they run back to the car. As soon as they're in, they start to laugh. They laugh, and laugh, his head resting in the wheel.

"Jeffrey." He looks at her.

"Yeah."

"Thanks." For just a moment, he thinks he sees something flash across her face. He shrugs.

"Don't mention it."

"No, I really mean it. I was convinced to go to that party by a friend, I should've known it would be trouble." He starts the car and begins driving back to the house.

"I get it, people get way too intense at parties." She studies her hands which are folded in her lap.

"Yeah." The stoplight colors their faces as they wait for it to change. It's a heavy silence, the kind that only forms between two people who have one thing they both want to talk about, but also want to avoid at all costs.

"I've missed you." He says, the words rushing out.

"I've missed you too, a lot actually." That dreadful silence continues.

"A lot, a lot?" He asks, a stupid grin on his face. She smiles too.

"Yeah a lot, a lot. More than I should've probably." She pauses, but he doesn't speak, he just waits. He waits until it's clear that she isn't going to elaborate.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Because, I'm willing, I'll talk about, you know 'feelings'."

"No, I do not want to talk about it." Jeffrey turned onto Gardam street, purposefully turning off the headlights, so not to wake the neighbors. "I just," She sighs, and studies her hands again. "I just want to pretend that we don't have these feelings." Jeffrey stops the car in the middle of the street, putting it in park.

"We?" He asks.

"Don't pretend you didn't know." She whispers. Jeffrey knows the smile he wears is a stupid one. Without looking, Skye does too. "Stop smiling like a dope."

"I can't. So why can't we…" He made an awkward hand gesture that she somehow understood to mean date.

"You know why, I've told you why!" She turns to face him, her voice rising. "You think I wouldn't love...a relationship?"

"You would?"

"Yes! Of course, but the risk is too high, the math shows most outcomes as unfavorable." Of course she had actually done the math.

"Okay, but you said that skiing and that was awesome." The two sat in silence. Jeffrey drove from the street into the Penderwick's driveway. He got out of the car, walked around, and opened the door for her. She stepped out, shivering slightly.

"I, um…" She leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the cheek. "Thanks." She rushed inside, her cheeks red.

Jeffrey kept standing outside, in awe of events. Maybe, just maybe, they had a chance. He'd just have to prove the math wrong.

* * *

**Author's Note**

** Sorry for the late update. I'll try to make up for it with the next one. As always PM's and reviews make my day. Happy Reading! :)**

** -Avionyx**


	3. Chapter 3

Skye wraps her scarf tighter around her chin. The air is cold on her, well, on her everything. If she stays out here much longer her hands and feet will go completely numb. Why couldn't she and Jeffrey date? Groaning, she layed back on the cold roof. All of this, these feelings, they felt so middle school. Considering that she was almost in college she should be past all these petty feelings.

But she wasn't, not by a longshot. She began to find herself thinking of him. Calling him more often, sending him little jokes and funny pictures over text and Snapchat. At first she didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, this was normal best friend behavior. Until one day when he said that he couldn't talk that day because of an all day event where no phones were allowed. She realized how much she missed talking to him, how often she reached for her phone to send him things. It was at this point where she had two options, talk to Jane and Rosy about these feelings, or deny and repress. Choosing traditional Skye Penderwick method, she denied her feelings. It didn't matter how many times people told her that these things were bad for her. Feelings, especially romantic ones, were simply something that Skye Penderwick did not experience. When Jeffrey visited, she could sense that there was tension, going both ways. Even Batty and Ben noticed, and judging by the snide looks that Daddy and Iantha shared they noticed too.

What did it matter that she wanted to stay up all night talking about things that didn't even matter with him. It didn't. What mattered was her scholarships, her grades, and her soccer team. These were important somehow against her best effort, Jeffrey kept coming up on that list. Shaking her head, Skye tried to clear her head of the image of him laughing at something she'd said during some soccer drills, he was happy, happy because of her. Suddenly she didn't feel so cold, and she got the irrational urge to smile.

"Skye Magee Penderwick, this is just a phase." She knows she is lying to herself, as much as she would deny it, she'd liked Jeffrey for years. Thinking back to that first summer in Maine, when he asked her if she could ever see herself getting married (although he didn't ask if it was to him, she knew what he meant) she denied. Or last year, when he asked if she would ever love anyone, she denied. As if she could ever love anyone but him. She did know that. When Jeffrey asked her if she could imagine herself with someone else, she tried to imagine spending her life with some faceless scientist, but he always turned into Jeffrey. She groaned again, trying to distract herself with the stars. Looking around the night sky she talked to herself about stars and dark matter and the wonders of the universe.

"Fascinating." A familiar voice says from the window. Startled, she turns to see Jeffrey, smirking like an idiot climbing on to her roof with her.

"What are you doing on my roof?" She asks as he lays down next to her, joining her as she looked at the stars.

"Two things, one you aren't the only one who likes a quiet place to think, and two, I had to make sure you weren't drunk or high or something." She elbows him, hard, in the side. He just laughs.

"Careful." He teases, "You wouldn't want me to fall off would you?" She can hear the smirk on his face.

"That would be unfortunate." She teases him, lightly pushing him towards the edge. They laugh, as the best friends that they are. Skye stops laughing and sighs. "I know what you want to talk about." He stays silent for a few minutes.

"Yeah, I know you do. If you don't want to talk I'll keep quiet, Batty said I can talk to Funty if I need someone to listen. He's a very good listener, it's the big ears." It would be easier for her to deny these feelings if he wasn't so darn charming. He's trying to lighten the mood, she knows, it's almost working. He waits expectantly for a response, when one doesn't come he keeps talking, for no other reason then just to fill the silence, it needed to be filled. "Although he does have this rude habit of falling over. Some elephants just don't have any manners. Don't tell Batty I told you this, she'd murder me, but she still sleeps with him sometimes. She really misses hound, she lost her best friend. She's upset because the girls at school think she's weird, I think I'm new Rosalind, she tells me everything, I mean-" Skye cuts him off.

"Jeffrey?"

"...Yes?"

"If I, hypothetically of course, wanted that kiss on the cheek to mean things, what would your response be?" He waits before replying.

"Well, I'd want to talk to you about it, then, if everything worked out I'd want to see you more then already do, maybe do some things alone, and just see where things would go, and be completely honest about any and all feelings to each other…..hypothetically of course."

"Yeah." Skye pauses, letting the silence hang in the air. This silence wasn't awkward, it was comfortable and friendly. Yawning, she sat up and stretched. "Well, I'm going to hit the hay, I have homework to do in the morning." If she stayed up there for much longer, she might start talking about feelings, that, okay, she did have. She wasn't quite ready for Jeffrey to know those though, he'd waited years, he could wait another few weeks as she got this sorted out herself.

* * *

**What's this? An update!?**

**Sorry for the hiatus, when one is taking 6 AP/Honors level classes things have a way of piling up. (I know this looks like an excuse, but in reality that's exactly what it is...it's not even a good one. Sorry...again) I've been thinking about these two for the past few days, and I had the time to I sat down and wrote for the first time in way too long. I hope this chapter makes up for it. I will try to make a Skyffery Christmas fic as well. One quick note: Canon Skye Penderwick needs to realize that she likes Jeffery a lot so they can grow old and be happy together, okay? Thanks. **

**As always, comment and messages make my day! I would love to talk to anyone who is willing to chat!**

**Happy Reading :) **

**Avionyx **


End file.
